I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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