I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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