Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize