ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize