i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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