Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
