I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
