I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
