We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
