Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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