So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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