I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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