evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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