you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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