Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
