This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
