so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
