Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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