did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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