i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize