if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
