im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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