she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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