____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I cockslap morals
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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