This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
