How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
