If i come over, it means nothing
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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