Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
