So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
