i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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