So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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