Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
