i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
only you would photoshop your dick
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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