i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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