i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
