Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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