Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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