I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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