well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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