Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
