Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
