You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I believe in your delicious
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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