So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
