your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
