I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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