You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
