Fine. I'll sleep in my office
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
