just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize