yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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