Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
