Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
