you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
