I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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