its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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