oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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