How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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