There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
