i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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