Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
