My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
